Me: Not A Rarity...

At least not in D.C.

I've discovered quite a wonderful city. Sure, I've been to D.C. before but I didn't really pay much attention the last time I came. I spent the time worrying about how I would be perceived so I relegated myself to the tourist position.

Don't get me wrong, it was hella fun. I took all kinds of pictures that I need to post. But I didn't really feel like I got a sense of the city.

But during this vacation, I have. And I know that it'll only get better. In fact, there are so many things that I've learned about myself, I'm writing this blog as a reminder to myself that I am not alone in my strengths or my weaknesses. That I am not unique and in this regard, that's a good thing.

I have seen so many black people here who (at least on the surface) are well put together and professional. I have seen many gay folks here who are also awesome. While I didn't see many black gay professionals, I am going to assume that they're here and I know I'm right.

Here's to D.C. The only thing that could've made this trip better would be warm temperatures. There's something about cold that still tempers my excitement for life but I can't let that ruin a week of rest and recuperation.

Salut! Indeed!

Gay: How Soon We Forget...

It's shocking how fast the news of Chris' death fell away from the limelight.

It's shocking how quickly the realm of psychiatry forgot how it treated it's gay counterparts.

It's shocking how soon after I'm scared to death of a random hookup that I contemplate getting back on the site.

It's shocking how one longs to be in a relationship yet finds any which way to get out of it when it doesn't meet the pre-relationship ideals.

I'd like to think this was part of the human condition but I'm not that naive. No, I think this is more a product of our society.

We live and die by the seat of our pants, barely hanging on to the vestiges of history, dooming ourselves to repeat our mistakes simply because we're not paying attention.

But Fate (the fickle bitch) has a way of turning everything on it's head....

Me: Fight the Feeling...

So I am actively fighting against finding a boyfriend.

Alot of my day is consumed with thoughts of him. What he looks like, what he does for a living. It's really pathetic and I can't seem to shake it.

Even when I purposefully don't think about it, I think about it. It's a negative spiral that only ends up with me feeling worse. I know...sad.

I'm actively trying to plan my DC trip (a week away) so that I am living in the moment and NOT spending time trying to go to less than savory places. My goal is to experience D.C. as a tourist and I'm going to accomplish that even if I'm a lardass at my casa away from my casa.

Rose informed me that interracial couples there aren't looked upon kindly as it is. Lol, I wish that would deter me but of course it won't. But then again, I'm not looking for love.

I will continue to repeat this mantra daily until after vacation is over with.

I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking.

There, I feel better already! ;)