Figgy made up this word; it's an amalgamation of deceitful and mischevious. I think it should be a real word.There are only a few people on this earth that I have knowingly wronged and who justifiable hate me; which, of course, makes me long for their friendship even more in hopes of making amends.
Figgy is one of them. Abe is the other.
I didn't mention this earlier, as I thought Abe still read my blog; but me thinks that is old news since his response to my email to him earlier this week was quite devoid of care or knowledge of me.
So in the spirit of therapeutic blogging, I have a confession. I hurt Abe on purpose. It was the only way I could get him to stop. Slowing down wasn't in the cards for us; we were headed towards a life together whether we liked it or not.
So when Theophilus in Chicago and I started up a conversation (one that was never likely to go anywhere other than be social acquaintences) I told Abe that what we had was much more and that "I'd like to pursue it" all the while knowing that it wouldn't go anywhere.
God it hurts my soul that I hurt that man. He's such a great fuckin' guy! And whomever he ends up with will be lucky to have him. Just like Figgy's better off with friends who don't fool around with her ex's.
Two people down...I wonder how many more I will hurt in my lifetime. That sucks...
“I’m the one asking you the questions, Lorna.”
2 years ago
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