Me: Serious procrastination...

It's kinda getting ridiculous actually.

This breakup and heartbreak have derailed me even more than I imagined. I was already feeling senioritis, nervous about jobs, confused about my future, etc...then this came along and threatened to capsize the whole damn boat.

But yet I'm still here, bobbing along.

I find that now, more than ever before, I am truly living in the moment because I really don't know what the future will hold. In talking to Moe, she made me realize that some of the strongest relationships come after the couple breaks up and they realize they can't live without the other. I don't know if Mr. Baggins would ever come back; it would be inspiring and heartbreaking all at once if he did.

In the meantime, I'm still trying to gather my strength and resolve to get shit done. I'm slowly getting better at it. Lol, as my appetite improves, so does my will. But I've noticed that I often lack a "taste" for things. It's kinda like what you feel like eating...lol, in other words, it's the black folks way of saying they have a food preference.

Since he left, I haven't had a taste. And so I walk around, just skirting from moment to moment, eating for sustenance but not necessarily for pleasure.

It's odd.

I met and went on a date with a nice Indian fella. I'll blog about him later. But needless to say, in the past, I would've jumped on this opportunity to tickle my palate. Yet I'm not jumping. In fact, there are times where I dread it because I don't want to let him down. Fortunately, he seems to be an easy going fella and since he has never dated anyone, this shouldn't be too difficult. :)

I miss JL in a more mature way now. I'm sorta glad that he did this because I wouldn't have normally felt this emotion or this way about him. It gives me hope that if he never comes back, I can live with it. And if he does come back, I could (possibly) live with that too; all depends on where he is with things.

In the meantime, I sing my songs, I cry, I live, I thrive. I smile...life is good.