Black Gay: No more MeatSites...

So I am status post day #1 without the sites and I'm a better person because of it.

Not only do I have time to blog on a more regular basis, but I don't feel ashamed and self defeatist.

As a black gay man who has this uncanny attraction to white men, KY is not necessarily the mecca of acceptance and diversity I unconsciously long for. But I put myself out there, day after day since late January in an attempt to hook a good guy.

My premises were wrong.

First off, while good guys do frequent those sites, you must also remember that no one on those sites is truly looking for love by itself...okay, I shouldn't say "none" but I will say most.

Secondly, online pictures and profiles will never be an adequate substitute for face to face interaction or catching one's eyes on the street. It's especially painful when you meet a guy online with whom you share so much verbally and socially only to see his pic and find that you aren't initially attracted to him in any way at all. It's even WORSE when that initial meeting is face to face instead of via photo exchange. And MORE WORSE STILL is when you realize that YOU'RE THAT GUY for someone (i.e. they open the door, see your face, and it drops into disappointment.)

I've experienced that phenomena enough times that I must call it quits online. In fact, I'm taking the approach that I shouldn't be "looking" for dates and instead do those things that make me happy and hopefully will run across someone at some point. Lol, at least that's the strategy for now.

In the meantime, I will keep to myself and work on those things that I need to accomplish to get through residency and life (for the next 3 years) in one sane piece. Being black and gay is tough; adding the "love white men" modifier has complicated it even more but I can't let my closeted demons get the best of me.

Because me is good! :) (yay for positive self talk!)