I know that I'm more emotional at night. Maybe that's the time when my defensive synapses start slowing down and shutting off. I can recall many a night where I had heartfelt conversations about crazy things. Where I felt truly in sync with my fellow man when the moon was at it's apex.
So it's really no suprise that I cry more about my last relationship when I'm staying up later than I should. Ultimately, it'd be good to be in bed by 10:30 like I plan. But on weekends and when I'm feeling really saucy, I push the limit.
The result comes in rivers down my face and around the angle of my jaw. It is these times when I miss him the most. Where I feel like a piece of me is missing that I can't replace.
I try and lean into the hurt, to savor the loss because it means I loved so strongly. And for that I am still very proud.
The story is not done; I have lots of life to live (maybe). Feelings are good...right?
“I’m the one asking you the questions, Lorna.”
2 years ago
No comments:
Post a Comment