Though I've turned over a new leaf in regards to my self esteem, self image, and self worth, I have not been able to shake my irritation with what I perceive as incompetence.
Be it nurses or techs, attendings or administrators, I can't stand to think that someone is wasting my time, especially if those people are supposed to be "helping" me.
I don't know if it's because I'm a resident, (a.k.a. indentured slave) or what, but having people treat me like shit has become unacceptable and reprehensible. And now I find myself getting krunk with folks and pulling rank: something that I've NEVER done before.
But being an asshole makes me feel good. It's crazy! Yes, it makes me ashamed to admit it, but there's something thrilling about letting out your frustration and anger on someone who deserves it (though probably not in such fervor.)
I'm hoping that admitting it (even out here in cyberspace) will help me acknowledge my anger and hopefully help me "let it go" and get back to the even-keeled person that I used to be before medicine changed my life forever...
“I’m the one asking you the questions, Lorna.”
2 years ago
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